How to Love Yourself in 2021 and Beyond

by Christiana Jolaoso

Coming into the New Year, you may have written out your New Year resolutions. Loads of new habits, action plans, and so much more. 

But did you include self-love?

This might be a good time to add that to your to-do list for 2021. The year is still budding, you know. 

So, let’s get on. 

What Exactly Is Self-love?

Without understanding the true meaning of self-love, you may not know how to love yourself. 

Self-love is not self-absorption but a state of knowing who you are. It involves understudying yourself to understand what your core needs are. Meaning you’re in tune with your inner self and have discovered who you are. You have also accepted you.

Self-love means having regard for yourself. It connotes choosing your well-being and happiness-not settling for less than you deserve. The state of total acceptance of who you are- both strengths and weaknesses. 


Why Is It Important? 

Self-love is the foundation for all other healthy self-concepts. 

It is key to your mental health and actualization of life’s purpose. You cannot reach your most tremendous potential if you have no strong love for yourself.  

Self-esteem, self-worth, self-actualization, self-respect? They all are a subset of self-love. Without self-love, you might be on the brink of depression and people-pleasing. 


Something important… 

Self-love fosters the ability to accept your individuality. When you master the art of self-love, you begin a relationship with yourself. You’ll then start accessing the kind of lifestyle that suits you. 

But without it, you would be in a dilemma, oblivious of who you are. You’ll likely follow the crowd, which may lead to an unfulfilled life.


What’s more…

Self-love is the ability to withstand life’s hurdles. 

Life in itself is full of ups and downs. There will be times when you’ll fail, make mistakes not get what you so desire, amongst others. How you handle these situations often determines how much you love yourself. 

It’s so easy to wallow in pity when life throws a lemon at you, but with self-love, you’ll make the best of it.  


Hold on…

Have you been attracting people that mistreat you?

Then it’s time to do some reflections. A person who self-loathes is at the risk of attracting toxic people. Such people who are all around would find it easy to creep in. Self-love will help you avoid them.

You become co-dependent on others if you don’t love yourself. You’ll also always feel the need to rescue others. That’s because you’d think that by tolerating their many excesses, they would change. 

Not true! 


But here’s what happens when you genuinely love yourself…

You’ll understand others better.

When you love yourself, you’ll become less critical of others. You start being kind to people. That’s because you’re aware that we all have our hidden struggles. 

You’ll become joyful. 

Being in sync with your inner world helps you to experience less distortion. Your energy will become different, away from gloom. You will become positive and enthusiastic. 

The joy radiating from within will reflect in everything you do.


How Can You Master Self-love? 

Forgive yourself

 A lot of people hate themselves for their past mistakes. They feel they are undeserving and unworthy of love.


It’s good to forgive others. Nonetheless, you would have to learn forgiveness towards yourself. 



Do you have the ability to correct your past?

If you had more knowledge, would you make those wrong decisions?

So why put yourself in prison?

Release yourself from your past. Forgive you

Invest in yourself

Someone who’s has mastered the art of self-love would invest in themself. Self-love shows that you understand your self – potentials, talents, strengths, and weaknesses. You will be willing to harness all these because you know your value.

In this New Year, spend money on yourself, buy new books, take that course, and embark on that long procrastinated journey. Become intentional about your growth. 

Accept yourself

This is one daunting task, but I advise you to put in the effort; it’s worth a try. 

There is a critical voice in everyone. Self-love helps to still that voice within. You will then appreciate your actions and growth.

Learning to accept your weaknesses is part of the whole package. 

It doesn’t mean you stop putting in the effort to improve. Instead, you will appreciate the stage you are in and develop yourself towards the best.

Respect yourself

The higher your self-love, the higher the chances of you respecting yourself. When you respect yourself, you can refuse disrespect from others.

If you want to master the self-love art this year, be ready to respect yourself enough to walk away from toxic people and situations.


Set aside a time of the day to relax. Just savor in the sound and sight of nature. You could try this out at least 30 minutes a day. Be still with yourself. It goes a long way.

And if something is bothering you, try to take a shower or take a cool drink. 

Remember that worrying would do nothing. As you stay relaxed, you will have a clear head to make good plans and take reasonable steps. 


Quick Self-love Practices

1.Take out time to unwind.

2.Have healthy self-talk with yourself.

3.Look in the mirror and compliment yourself.

4.Learn to self-soothe.

5.Ask for help

6.Set boundaries

7.Start a journal.

8.Have an exercise routine.